There’s a lot of pressure on guys when it comes to dates. There’s plenty of media that bombards all of us on a daily basis that shows a picture of the ideal man: confident, attractive, and ready for any eventuality. Men in media tend to carry themselves with ease and are comfortable in any environment that they find themselves in. Because of this, it’s not hard to see why many guys become nervous in the face of a first date. Confidence when it comes to women is elusive, and sometimes it’s hard to pin down exactly what it is that makes you attractive at a first impression.
The first thing to understand is that all modern women are perfectly aware that this popular image of the perfect man is just that: a fantasy. We know that plenty of guys struggle with confidence when it comes to the first date, and that’s absolutely ok! You’re likely to hear all sorts of advice about tricks of psychology and flaunting from other guys, but when it comes to dating girls, it’s best to take advice from the source. Here’s a girl’s guide to the things that we find attractive (and what we don’t) on dates!
Do: Be Yourself
I know, I know. Obvious right? I can already feel some of you more nervous guys rolling your eyes, maybe even some of you are saying “that’s the problem.”
You couldn’t be more wrong. In fact, the only way that you’re ever going to display confidence in a way that is earnestly attractive is by being yourself. You are comfortable and at ease in your own skin, and women love that. That being said, it’s not like you shouldn’t go all the way when it comes to being as appealing as you can to all the senses. Look at it this way, be yourself, but be the best possible version of yourself, even if it requires the addition of pheromone boosters or new hair gel or something similar. Think about the times of your life that you felt most confident in how you looked, talked, and articulate your thoughts. This is what you should be trying to emulate. Yes, even if it’s unconventional.
Don’t: Focus too much on yourself.
Seems contradictory, I know. You should certainly do your best to make sure that you seem appealing and are carrying yourself well, but if all your thoughts on your date are centering on how well you’re doing, then the entirety of the day will have been for nothing. All too often, guys get so absolutely lost in making sure they’re doing well on the date, they forget to actually enjoy it in the first place. Nothing will make a girl enjoy a date less than the idea that you’re not having fun with her. Finding some common ground in interests: like travel, food, or drink, may really help you in this regard, but try to be spontaneous in your conversation!
Do: Play to Your Strengths
You’re never going to look as perfect as you want, and because of this, you might always feel like you’re coming up short. Whether it has to do with your genetics, your wealth, or your command of the English language, there’s some regard in which you’re going to feel a little weak. That’s part of being human! If you focus too hard on this shortcoming, however, the date is already ruined. Find the aspect of yourself that people compliment, or just something in which you feel confident, and be sure to build up that particular strength.
Don’t: Lay Your Weaknesses Bare
Embracing your shortcomings is not the same as submitting to them, which is something that you should never do. You might find a certain degree of grace in accepting the things that you can’t change, but don’t allow it to slow you down! For example, be sure to dress in a way that draws the eye away from your shortcomings, not because you don’t want to accept them, but because you will be confident in spite of them!
Do: Be Honest, Embrace your Nervousness!
Any girl will tell you that we would 100% rather deal with a few nerves than a careless guy that’s trying to overcompensate. Denying your nervousness and trying to smother it may cause you to come across as arrogant and thoughtless. Nothing is more attractive to a girl than a guy that’s more in touch with how he feels! If you’re feeling nervous to a point that you fear it may affect your behavior, just say so! If the date is worth it, it’ll probably be good for a laugh and you might find out that you’re not the only one!
Don’t: Overshare
That being said, a first date isn’t the time to lay your soul bare. If your date goes well, there will be plenty of time to share all of your joys and fears with someone who may become your new partner. While telling your date about your nervousness may be humorous or even flattering, now is not the time to tell her about your deep-seated psychological reasoning for that. If the conversation takes a more emotional turn, let her lead the way.
