With the U.S. election fast approaching and politicians invading homes with snide remarks about their competitor?s incompetency or meanness, it is likely that many of you will be running away to the wilderness, trying to escape the constant barrage. Before you do that though, you may want to learn the basics of survival from someone who knows what he?s doing. Bear Grylls, "Man vs. Wild" star is probably the most qualified person I can think of and lucky for you, he has started his very own survival academy.

The inaugural session is based in the Scottish Highlands and will be from November third through the ninth for about $4,820, not including airfare to Scotland or the price to send in your absentee ballot. lltitle=Learn How to Survive With Bear Grylls### llcontent=Thanks to Bear Grylls, you can now learn how to survive in the Scottish Highlands. Join Bear's Survival Academy and learn how to forage for food, purify water, scale down cliffs, and create proper snare traps. What better man to teach you survival instincts than the one who has slept in a camel's hide?
The academy has ten slots open for the first session, where students will learn how to survive in the temperate climate of the Scottish Highlands. They will learn how best to use a knife (a Bear Grylls Ultimate knife, to be exact - which you'll get to keep), how to cross rivers, rappel off cliffs, forage for food, how to source and purify water (hopefully sans urine), and how to build shelter. Participants will also receive a badge and certificate, in addition to the pride and respect from their peers, as a reward for completing their training.

While the course is given by a group of instructors from "Man vs. Wild" and "Born Survivor" gang, Grylls himself will make a few appearances to make sure you're getting the proper training. He has survived drinking his own urine, climbing Everest, breaking his back in 3 places, and even delivering his youngest son. If anyone deserves your respect and attention, it’s him. Too bad he’s not a natural born citizen and interested in being the commander and chief of the United States.
Who better to help you survive the terrors of the political world than the man who taught you how to build a bamboo raft, take shelter in a hollowed out camel, and make a canteen out of snakeskin? Of course, if Scotland is too civilized for you, all you need do is wait for 2013, when the survival academy spreads to Africa and the U.S. It will also spread to a more diverse age group, allowing people under 18 to enroll. One day, perhaps we will do something useful and send our offspring to Grylls’ Survival Academy rather than ship them off to make lanyards by a lake.