Divorce can be difficult. You need to focus on prioritizing what matters most in divorce negotiations, figuring out what’s best for any children involved, and figuring out how to properly move on.

The information below will focus on the latter to help you navigate one of, if not the most difficult part of a divorce: dealing with the mental struggle of the separation. This information will be vital even if you and your ex remain on good terms afterward. You both still have to go through the divorce process, after all.

Find Support

The biggest thing you need to do when going through a divorce is to find people who will support you. Going through this alone will make you feel isolated and increase how stressed you feel.

Having no shoulder to cry on and no ear to vent to will also leave you less focused and more prone to emotional outbursts, which will negatively impact the parts of your routine that need to stay stable.

You can start by reaching out to your close friends and family members. They can help you mourn and keep your thoughts straight. Some may have even been through the process before and have some advice to help make it easier for you. When emotions run high and you feel like you’re at a breaking point, contact these people to help calm you down.

If no one close to you has been through a divorce, or if you just feel like you need more support from those who understand, then find and join a support group.

Whether you’re leaving a toxic relationship, were shocked when your partner told you about the separation, or both agreed it would be mutually beneficial to separate, there’s a support group out there waiting to talk and listen to you. Don’t force yourself to go through this alone; there’s always someone ready to listen.

Let Yourself Grieve

Grief is a natural part of the healing process during and after a divorce; you need to let yourself feel it. Not doing so will repress the emotions related to it, make you much more stressed and anxious than necessary, and make mood swings and outbursts more common and intense.

You’re losing a relationship, constant companionship, and possibly even an idea of what your future looks like. It’s only rational that you’d react negatively to this sudden and massive change. And that’s okay. Even leaving a toxic or abusive relationship will result in some amount of grief. Don’t feel guilty about it; work through it.

While working through your grief is a vital part of the divorce process, that doesn’t mean it should consume your life. Spending every waking moment lost in the sadness, anger and other emotions related to grief will actually create a bigger problem. Instead, carve some time out of your routine each day to give yourself the time to drive.

Let the emotions and thoughts wash over you and organize your thoughts. Cry, laugh, or do whatever else you feel that you need to. You should also consider talking to a therapist who can help walk you through your thoughts and grief and help you reach a healthier state of mind a bit quicker.

Understand Your Emotions

You’ll likely encounter many emotions during the divorce process, from anger and shock to guilt and grief. While each one has their own unique causes, they all need to be felt, acknowledged, and understood to the best of your ability.

When an emotion rises to the forefront, take a moment and either let yourself know that you feel it, but it has to wait until later or focus on it. Identify what the emotion is if you can, and try to work out why you feel that way. From there, see if it's really justified.

Guilt, for example, is a common emotion when dealing with a divorce. Much of the time, it isn’t justified, but in those rare times that it is, you need to learn how to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, both small and large, and that’s okay.

Sometimes these mistakes hurt people, and that’s okay, too, so long as you do your best not to. If guilt, grief, or any other emotion related to your divorce becomes all-consuming and you can’t see a way to move past it, contact a therapist. They will, and they’ll help you see it, too.

Take Care of Yourself

You can’t forget to take care of yourself, or you’ll find yourself slipping into a self-destructive rut. Give yourself time to do the things you enjoy. Talk to your friends, go shopping, visit museums, do puzzles, etc.

Feed yourself both your favorite foods and plenty of healthy meals. This time will help you work through the difficult emotions by reminding you that you can still have fun. Good times are all around you, and you’ll be happy and content again. You just have to cross this valley before you can reach the next hill.

If all of your favorite things feel tainted or unsatisfying for whatever reason, then find new ones. Try a new exercise routine, or take that online class that interests you. Finding new hobbies can be just as helpful as enjoying your old ones, and it may be best to try a mix of both.

Give it Time

Just like the legal part of the process, the mental recovery part of your divorce will take time. Don’t expect everything to be all better or the path ahead of you to be clear again immediately. It could take months or even years for you to fully move on. You need to acknowledge this to keep the process healthy and prevent yourself from piling on unnecessary stress.

However, this time isn’t an excuse to dwell here forever. It can take time to fully move on, yes, but staying trapped in these negative emotions for too long is an entirely separate issue.

That’s part of the reason why you should focus on each emotion as it comes up, talk with friends, family or your support group often and enjoy your hobbies. All of this will keep you in check and ensure the healing process occurs the way it's supposed to.